Failing In Your Design: The Fall of the Biblical Marriage

Failing in Your Design: The Fall of the Biblical Marriage     

Okay, if you are one of those people that has to have a pastor or preacher cater to your perception of reality, you might as well get ready to hit the delete button. If you are one of those individuals that gets upset when the truth of God’s word knocks you of the platform of your selfishness that you have become so accustom to. You might want to change the channel. If you are that individual that believes only the part of the Bible you like applies to you, this is probably the day we part ways.

This is one of those messages that will step on some toes, but those of you who know me know I don't care. I was not sent by God to win any popularity contests, or I would have become a politician. I was not sent to scratch the tingling sensations of those with itching ears.

³ For the time is coming when [people] will not tolerate (endure) sound and wholesome instruction, but, having ears itching [for something pleasing and gratifying], they will gather to themselves one teacher after another to a considerable number, chosen to satisfy their own liking and to foster the errors they hold, (2 Tim. 4:3, AMP)

The reason so many believers have fallen victim to failed marriages is that they don’t have a yearning desire to be led by the Word of God, they want Christ’s blessings and coverings, but they don’t want His leadership. They want to claim the benefits of Christianity without accepting the responsibility that lies therein.

As I get closer to the release of my book, When Your House Is Not a Home, I spend more and more time reviewing the manuscript and making final edits and adjustment. As I do this I am incessantly introduced to so many truths that I am simply overwhelmed by the force of the revelations that God was gracious enough to pass on to me. At the same time I am completely astounded at the foolishness I witness by believers. There is no way I can address it all here, and it is not my desire to, but I do want to touch on one thing; design.

Again, this is not to be discursive or comprehensive, but to give you something to think about.

You have to ask yourself this question straight out of the gate: Do I really want the marriage and the mate God intended for me or am I much more content living my life influenced by secular paradigms instead of Biblical mandate and divine revelation.

When I look at how marriage in America has disintegrated into a shadow of the divine institution that God intended it to be, it breaks my heart. The devil has so many of you chasing a fantasy with expectations that are not biblical and can only lead to disappointment and heartbreak.

Men, we were designed by God to carry out our specific and designated work. We were given the master vision in the manner in which God gave Adam his work, instructions, and mandates. When I say work, every man was designed for a particular work. In this instance, a man’s work is different than his job, his job is what he gets paid to do, and his work is what God designed him, created him, and called him to do. His work is reflected in his vision; his vision is a visual portrait of his purpose and his purpose is the revealer of his identity. When a man becomes acquainted with his purpose it reveals his identity and it his identity that provides his stability and confidence.

Until a man truly understands his identity and purpose he will attempt to find his worth in his things, accomplishments and finances. This is why when a man meets a woman that makes more money or has more degrees than he does he becomes insecure and cannot handle the relationship. The fact that she has more stuff makes him feel inferior, but a man that is acquainted with his purpose understands that his worth, value and position is based on his design and his calling. He is not intimidated by anyone because his position is secure, even if he should lose all of his things. My man Job could testify to this.

Even our women judge us by what we have and where we work and what we drive, etc. As I have stated before, the true godly woman that is acquainted with her purpose and identity understands that she will need to see her future husband, not only as he is, but more importantly, as he will become. It is more important to know where he is going than where he is now. When you ask that gentleman what he does for a living or where he lives, that tells you where he is now, not where he is going.

The first thing a Christian woman should want to know from a man is what his God-given vision is. If he doesn’t know or he can’t lucidly explain it, that is where it should end, he has more work to do before he is ready for marriage.

Ladies, you must become aware of your worth. You also must become acquainted with your identity in Christ. You must also understand your design. You have sold yourself short because you have bought into the myth that a man’s wealth and his belongings are indicative of his worthiness of your time. This can’t be far from the truth. As a Christian woman, your heart should be so hidden and occupied with Christ that the only way to you is through HIM! When you hide yourself in Christ, you will find that he will reveal to you the true value of a man. The true value of a man is not hidden is his possessions, but in his purpose. The true woman of God will be able to see past who a man is now and see the man he will become. She will also understand that a great deal of what he will become will have to be birthed by her. Contemporary women don’t like to hear that. They want a man that has already arrived, that is not how it works.

God created “Ishah” the woman (she did not become Eve until after the fall) as a helper for Adam. God told Adam that it was not good for man to be alone, so before you take what Paul said out of context and truly understanding it, what did God say? It is not good for man to be alone. So I will make him a helper. Remember, God gave Adam his work, the vision and the mandates before he ever created the woman and the woman was created as the helper. Dr. Myles Monroe says that the woman is an incubator. What does he mean by that? An incubator is something that you can take and put something that cannot grow or maintain life on its on inside of and the incubator provides the perfect environment to take that which is has potential, but is not yet developed and provide all that is needed to bring it to life.

In other words, the woman was design to give life, both physically and spiritually. Men, if you give a woman your seed (spermatid), she will not return it to you as a spermatid or seed, she will take it within her body and over 40 weeks she will provide the perfect environment for the seed to grow from an embryo, to a fetus, to birth. She then returns your seed as a living infant. A woman is a living walking incubator. If you give her a house, she will consume it with her spirit, pour out her heart into it and she will give you a home. If you give her groceries she will give you a meal. It has been said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. There is a lot of truth to that. It is not the taste of the food as many believe, but it is the love that is poured into the making of that meal that carries the power to penetrate his heart. In the same way that a woman brings life to all these things, she also brings life to the vision that God has given the man. She will take that vision into her heart as if it were her own and she will literally give spiritual birth to that vision and it will catapult him into the stratosphere.

So ladies understand that when you meet him and he is not where you think he ought to be it’s because he will not get there until you birth that part of him. He may be successful, but success and greatness are not the same. Anyone can become successful with the right amount of focus and effort, but greatness is only obtained by fulfilling your designed purpose and destiny. Women have been trained to look for the one that can provide, which is important, but so much emphasis is focused on what he has instead of who he is that women end up in marriages in which they are well provide for, but they are miserable. They found a man without a vision or one that has lost sight of his vision. There is one other instance. The man who has a thriving vision, but it was birthed by another women.  

When a woman births the vision in a man there is a spiritual bond that is created that may go unidentified or acknowledged, but it exists nonetheless. When that bond is created, the man may leave but no other woman will ever be able to fill that place as long as the wife that birthed the vision is still living. So if you are wondering why you are catching hell, it is because you are trying to walk into something someone else has birthed.

Men and women, I leave you with this, no your identity! ~ Dr. Rick Wallace