Monday, November 25, 2013

Calling All Men


Okay Men -- Yesterday I hit the women pretty hard because what was said simply needed to be said; however, as with all things there must be balance. What I don't want to happen is to create an atmosphere in which men ride the momentum of those statements concerning the importance of women understanding their roles and lose sight of knowing and taken on our roles.

It is easy to look at the faults of others and point the finger, but the wise and honest man is willing to introspectively examine himself and admit that we have some growing up and improving to do.

This week, I am going to examine some very controversial issues, and I don't plan on pulling any punches. This is not about attacking anyone, because I am not addressing any one person in particular. This is about addressing issues that are plaguing the Christian population. This is about cultural elements that have found there way into the Christian faith.

Men, it is easy to look at our women and see their faults and to become frustrated with what we interpret as contempt. What we cannot do is lose sight of the fact that a great deal of the woman's contempt with men is tied to the failure of men in their past. If we are honest, we all have left some scarred women behind us. Some of us have left a nice string of them.

For those of you that know me, you know that I am an innate researcher and reader, so I don't speak on hypothetical theories, I speak on what I know. As a believer and spiritual leader I am required to see beyond racial and cultural lines, but as a black man, I cannot ignore the plight of our women and their suffering at our hands. This does not only apply to blacks, but blacks should take what I am about to say to heart.

There is no woman from any other race that has endured what the black woman has. This is not a contest, but simply opening the door of understanding. There is no other race whose women have been molested as children at the rate of black women. There is no other race whose women have been victims of incest at the rate of black women. There is no other race whose women have experienced abandonment by there men at the rate of black women. There is no other race whose women have been the victim of men who thought it to be the proper course of action to procreate and then abandon their progeny. So brothers, if you have to ask why she is so contemptuous and there is such disdain, look no further.

She  has seen her mother and more than likely her grandmother's hatred for men, and that seed of hatred has been watered by the failure of men in her own life. All she knows is how to fight. We are asking these women to submit (white, black orange, yellow, doesn't matter here), but we are not realizing that no one will submit to those they don't trust.

Don't get me wrong -- I am not excusing the hostile and contemptuous behavior of women -- in fact, I dealt quite lucidly with that on yesterday. What I am saying is that it would be hypocritical to point the finger without acknowledging our culpability in the matter and that starts with me.

So, what does his mean? It means that the gentleness and patience that God expects us to lead our women with has to begin now. For those of you that are already married, you are required to sacrifice self for her -- do it now. Look past those hurtful words that she sometimes so easily spews and see the pain that causes it. You may not have been the person to cause it, but she is your rib and you are now one -- love her back to a place of trust.

For those that are not yet married. Make it a point to honor every woman appropriately but effectively. It is not acceptable to treat royalty in the fashion of a pauper. We need to effectively and appropriately cover those that are without a covering -- doing it without a motive. As men, we are not measured by how much we conquer -- although we are warriors -- we are measure by how much we are able to save and protect.

Men, it is not about you. This is about walking in the authority and dominion given to you by God to accomplish the will of God. This authority is not meant to lord over the women, but to nurture and cherish her.

"For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the Church." (Eph. 5:29, NKJV)

In this passage there are two words that are powerful -- "nourish" Greek - ektrepho, meaning to nourish or to rear up to maturity and "cherish" Greek - thalpo, meaning to foster or warm -- and image of an eagle brooding over her hatchlings is what is expressed here. Not too often is a man viewed as the one that is to nourish, but it is clearly stated. We are called to a point of sacrifice to the point of death. Now this death is more than the physical death many believe. Most men will die for what they love and believe in. This is a death to self and all that you believe you deserve and all that you believe is owed to you. This is placing the woman first, considering the greatest way to honor and protect her.

Women, this is not meant to be a passage that you take and chunk in your man's face. If you do that, you have totally missed the point. He will take that as a form of disrespect and totally shut down.

The fist thing that I noticed when spending hours upon hours studying Ephesians Chapter 5:22-33 is that the woman's command to submit and respect and the man's command to love were not issued on a conditional basis. This is not based on what the other person is doing or what you believe the other person deserves. Conflict and emotional disturbance will cause capriciousness when it comes to what you feel your mate deserves, but the command to love and respect is unconditional. That is what makes the post yesterday so effective. This is why Sis Lyhong Nga Lam, posted he message it pointed out that a woman should never go word for word and face to face with her man even when they both know he probably deserves a good tongue lashing. To the question: Why? she simply closes with..."Because he is a man."

I am not asking that you allow a man to abuse you or lead you in the wrong direction, but I am asking that you understand the rules of engagement.

As I close, men, we have got to own our failures. It is not too late to be a better husband. No matter how old your children are, it is not too late to become involved. To those of you that are single, you still have a responsibility to honor every woman, from your mother and sisters to the woman sitting next you on the bus or at the coffee shop. We are royalty, it is time that we started behaving like know it. ~ Dr. Rick Wallace