Follow the Leader

Hello Ladies, Teaching Moment: This is for both, single and married women.

When God created the universe, He took time to create humanity and he made them in his image. The Bible says, that he made them male and female. Here is a key bit of information that may just help you understand your role in marriage:

When we were kids riding our bikes, we used to play a game called "follow the leader". In this game, whoever was out in front chose the direction that every one would go in. We would ride through ditches, bushes, the backyard of the mean old lady in the neighborhood and more. The rules of the game were simple; follow the leader. Inevitably, things would become chaotic. How could a game with such simple rules create so much chaos. This is how: Someone in the back would scream out, "go right, but the leader would go left. Eventually, someone would become disenfranchised with the route that the leader would take and they would take out on their own, and of course some of the group would follow. After a while you had several different groups in several different areas heading in several different directions. No cohesiveness, but plenty of division. Why? Because someone decided that they were not going to follow the leader. This happens in christian marriages far too often. 

God designed and created Adam first. He gave Adam all of the mandates and he revealed the ultimate vision for Adam. He even gave Adam his work (Now his work is different than his job. Many men have confused their job for their work. Your job is what you get paid to do, but your work is what you were designed and created to do.) After giving Adam the vision he told him that it was not good for him to be alone and that he would create a helper for him, someone that would be suitable for him.

God put Adam to sleep and took a rib from his side and fashioned “Ishah” (The woman), she was not called Eve, until after the “Fall”. It is important to understand that God did not “create” (Hebrew, “bara”, to make from nothing) or “form” (Hebrew “yatsar”, to form something from something else) Ishah, but he “fashioned” (Hebrew, banah”, meaning to build using a certain constructive material) her from the rib of Adam.

The human rib cage is designed to protect the body’s vital organs from external harm, without it you could die from something as simple as a punch. So, Adam’s missing rib represents his vulnerability and the vitality of the essence of “Ishah”, the woman. Women in this culture have been taught, in the wrong context, I might add, all about how the man is to be the protector. This is true, from a physical aspect, but what very few have been taught is the vital role a wife is to play in covering her husband’s vulnerability, so that he can lead with confidence.

Women in this culture have taught how to berate and degrade a man that may struggle in an area or make a mistake. The godly wife affirms her husband, she builds him up and gives him the confidence that he needs to face the challenges he must face to be the man he was designed to be. I have said this often, many proclaim that behind every good man is a good woman, I take it a step further and say that standing beside every great man is a great and powerful women. Do you know why she is great? She is great because she knows her husbands weaknesses, but instead of exploiting them and degrading him, she comes along side of him, and she strengthens him with her words of affirmation. She confirms who he is in God. She lets him know that no matter how rough it gets, he is not alone.

Women, when you learn to do this, you will find that this man will go to the end of the world and back to prove that he is worthy of the confidence that you have placed in him. He will be equipped with the confidence and courage necessary for leadership. 

Speaking of leading; one of the major issues with attempting to merge two believers in matrimony in this culture is the failure to function in the dynamic of the original design. Because of the failure of men, women have been left to fend for themselves so long, that they have developed their own dynamic with God. Women have developed strong relationships with God that have allowed them to take care of families, financially support the home, be active in the church, and so much more. The problem is that in the original design, God gave the vision to Adam and it was Adam’s responsibility, not only to reveal the vision to the woman, but also it was Adam’s responsibility to communicate what they were and were not supposed to do. Remember, God gave the mandate about the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil to Adam before fashioning Eve.

Here is the problem with the reversed dynamic that is most often active in the home now. When a woman meets a man, she has been accustomed to being the leader of the family, so she is used to seeking God in all that she does, which is what she should be doing. The thing is that this is actually her husband’s role. God gives the vision to the leader. This is why in the Old Testament, men were responsible for teaching their wives, and even in the New Testament, where Jesus gave the women a voice, it was still under the leadership of the man.  

Why is this so important to understand? When a woman is accustom to receiving direct orders from God, and a man comes into her life, it will be extremely difficult for her to submit completely to his leadership. She will try, but she will find herself questioning his direction, when she doesn’t understand it or doesn't like it, and seeking God on her own to overrule his decision. How simple is it, when you don't like something, to say to your husband, I haven't heard from God on that, or that is not what God told me?

In most cases, what women will find is that God has changed the rules of communication. You will be attempting to consult him on an issue that your man has already decided, and you will not receive instruction on it. This is the reason why; if every time your husband made a decision, you say I have to seek God on it and God answers you, He would be undermining the authority and leadership of your husband in the marriage and home. (God is ultimately saying the same thing you would say to your children when they try to play you against your mate; What did he say?)

Dr. Rick Wallace 

Now there will be times when God will give you words of wisdom to share with your husband, but he will never give you a word to override or undermine his authority. A godly man will value the insight and input of his wife. He will take into consideration her feelings, needs and desires above his own, but his ultimate responsibility is


to God. This means that there will be times when his decisions will not make sense to his wife. Now if your man is doing something that is obviously against the Character of God, then that is a no brainer, but issues of direction and the vision are given to the man. The leader receives the vision and communicates it to those whom he leads, and together they work to fulfill the vision.

Women, the moment God places your husband in your life, the rules of communication change. From the moment that you become committed to marriage, God begins to wean you off of the leadership role and demands that you began to trust the leadership of the man you are to marry. God is the greatest trainer there has ever been. He knows that if He continues to give you the vision, that you will totally ignore the divine order for the home and marriage.

This order is not natural, but it is necessary. Dr. Rick Wallace